I felt like a shy little girl. My midwife, Stephanie, could bring this side out of me. I absolutely loved her and she was a true Godsend but she made me feel so young and inexperienced....which I was both so go figure.
I sat there wide eyed and overwhelmed. Too overwhelmed to be scared at that moment. I had just been given the news that my baby looked good at 41 weeks, but that through the ultrasound done earlier that day she wasn't showing signs of practicing breathing using her lungs, which raised a few red flags and reason for concern.
"Now, I talked with Dr Moauro, and he said we can offer you an inducement." Stephanie calmly suggested.
My heart jumped in a nervous way...no not that. Stephanie knew of and fully supported my wish for an all natural birth. She wouldn't suggest this unless she had a real concern. Was my darling unborn child really in trouble? I was struggling for words so I just nodded letting her know that I understood. Thank the Lord my Mom was there and was able to ask the questions I couldn't.
"What if she doesn't induce?" inquired my mom.
Stephanie looked me in the eyes "You are all clear for a safe vaginal delivery now. I can't promise you that a week from now."
I let out a breath and an "okay". "If I am to induce when should I do it?"
"If you do it tonight I can be with you the entire time, but I may not be available tomorrow"
Heart raced, not in the fun way. Of course I wanted Stephanie. No one else would do if I was actually able to make a choice in the matter. But It was already passed 3:00 o'clock, I needed more time to decide! "I want to talk it over with my Husband. He'll be home by four. Is that okay?" I asked trying to fight off the tears.
"Absolutely." Encouraged Stephanie. "Talk it over with him and if you decide to go this route I'd say come in around six this evening, all right?"
The Hospital was only a five minute drive away from our humble little apartment so I had a little time to be home, go over my hospital bag, momentarily cry over my mom's shoulder and unknowingly come to my decision all before Sammy got home.
His response is what I expected. He was in full support of whatever my decision would be. What a great husband!
Sammy gently rubbed my back - "My only reason for not wanting to do this is I know you really wanted an all natural birth. I don't want you to do this if its going to make you feel like you've failed in some way. Do you understand?"
I did. And I knew that this was one of those unexpected exceptions. "Stephanie promised to monitor the Pitocin and bring it down whenever my body took over and showed signs of not needing the extra help from it. She also said that she wont give me any other sort of intervention unless I personally ask for it....and you know me, I'm not going to."
(For those who don't know me, it's true, I may be sweet, but I am completely strong willed, strong headed and down right stubborn when I want to be XD )
"All right" Sammy said nodding his head "I say let's do it, if that's what you want. "
"Okay, my bag's already packed."